penncovemuscles

Not complaining about my situation, since I'm more 'fortunate' than a lot of people, but god damn I can't stand spoiled, unappreciative people. People get handed everything, don't work - don't do anything, have fun all day. Parents buy them NEW cars, gas, food, houses, furniture, this, that, the other thing. And they take it for granted.

The insomnia that plagued me earlier in the year and late last year is back. I'm exhausted and can't sleep. I layed in bed for three hours without getting a wink of sleep despite being exhausted. Fuck my neighbor, Terry, and his god damn florescent spotlight porch lights. I hope he dies of a heart attack this week. I really, honestly hope that man dies.

fuck drinking. fuck my life. i hope my house burns down while i sleep.

why do people think it's completely okay to be a complete piece of shit and then wonder why people don't respect them? people get drunk/fucked up and do something completely fucking stupid, then think "oh i was drunk(or depressed/high/whatever)" is a valid excuse. girls whore around and claim that they just 'love people'. really? good fucking god, people's excuses as to why they're complete pieces of shit astound me. everyone loves to contribute as much as possible to the shit that is modern life, but no one likes to take responsibility for anything.

this isn't directed towards anyone specifically. just based on observations i make at home, work, with friends, in the media, etc.

i hate mankind.

finished that god damned paper. i know i half assed it, but whatever. it's professional enough sounding to where i think i'd normally get a good grade, but i doubt it's as detailed as it needs to be. all i need is literally a 50% and i can have an A in the class since i did great on our extra credit quizzes while we had them. i feel relieved.

don't know why the fuck i wrote this entry.

time to get a 2 hour nap in before i gotta wake up.

this is going to be stupid.

i'm so down on myself and life. if i had some direction, maybe i'd have some motivation. and some confidence.

i fucking hate college. i seriously, completely fucking hate it. i like learning, but i really fucking hate writing research papers with ridiculous requirements. i hate doing power point presentations on uninteresting topics (Tibetan marriage customs). i hate all the shitty people at school. i hate how 90% of college students have the same exact mind set and views. i do like some classes/subjects; i just usually have a problem with a professor's methods. i just like reading. it seems like the goal of most professors is just getting students to pass tests and write legible papers; not so much getting people to enjoy learning or what they're studying. i don't know WHAT i'm going to school for, and even if i did, this economy doesn't seem promising as far as finding a career goes anyway. i'm just not ambitious enough. i hate modern life. i hate consumerism. i hate politicians. i hate globalism. i wish i was born a native american a few hundred years before white men came to this country. why the fuck is there a routine that every person born in a modernized country is supposed to follow? hell, i wish i could get a unionized construction job or something that i could make 26 dollars an hour or so and just keep at that until i either found something to go to school for, or became a foreman someday and make as much money as someone with a master's degree would doing whatever. i also hate my job. i like working with kyle and kenny, and a few other people there, but the vast majority of them are just completely fucking ignorant, untalented, drug addicted pieces of shit. i'm sure i've contradicted myself in many ways while writing this, but whatever. my head isn't on straight right now, i'm tired, and i need to save myself for a history paper i'm about to start.

i also kinda wish i had skills as far as construction and renovation projects went, and had a large sum of money. i'd start house flipping and just do that for a living.

and happy birthday felix!

stop with the xanax.

stop doing cocaine.

stop being fucking selfish ass mooches.

stop treating people like objects.

 Had some weird ass dreams last night. Dreamed that I died in about 50 different ways. Dreamed that I was in a safari and lions were killing panthers like crazy, and this was scary to witness. I dreamed that I hung out with everyone and was saying good bye to everyone. In that dream Ana was really in to power lifting and was moving to florida to live with John Enea. Had a dream my dad stabbed me in the neck with an exacto knife. Had a dream that my sister was in to clubbing. Had a dream that I hung out with Lexi Calo of all people. Had a dream where this guy I work with could talk to animals and so could all the other people that lived in the world I was in and they hated me. Had a dream that I was in a video game. That was all in about an hour and a half too, slept from like 4:15 or 4:30 to 5:50

 Weird orange bars of light in the sky. I watched them for over 15 minutes and they're still there. I wonder what they could be.

What the fuck. Bizzy Bone from Bone Thugs collaborated with that god damned I See Stars band from Warren.

Sufjan Stevens show was amazing. They were also filming parts of the Red Dawn remake in Pontiac and that was pretty cool. I've got some pictures of the set and chinese communist propaganda they had put up.

Set list:
1. Flint
2. The Upper Peninsula
3. Impossible Soul
4. Jackson
5. All Delighted People
6. Casimir Pulaski
7. Holland
8. Majesty Snowbird 
9. Age of Adz
10. Detroit
11. Chicago

That was it according to the last.fm page of the show. They played some newer song after Chicago too iirc.

Majesty Snowbird was mind blowing.

Give up, god damn it.




















Hopeless.

 I wouldn't get annoyed by all this 'twitter' bullshit except for the fact that it ends up getting mentioned in every fucking news article that's been published in the past six months. ie: "Barack Obama updated his twitter saying 'xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.' Holy shit!" or "everyone's been tweeting their ass off over the latest white house bull shit."

Bad example, but I think I got my point across. 

Also, last weekend was great. 18 friends, up north, having fun, canoeing, laughing, watching chris get sunburned, eating food, enjoying the outdoors. Has to happen more often, I wish I was still up there.

Bawls.

Hmm. I can feel a sore throat coming on and my joints are starting to ache and I'm feeling light headed. COOL SOUNDS JUST LIKE STREP THROAT. And it will be the second time I've had it this year, I felt exactly like this last time. If it's not that I'm sure it's some other stupid fucking viral infection of some sort. Probably not going to be in the mood to do anything for the next 3 or 4 days. Hopefully it subsides. I'm going to drink a lot of juice, tea, and soup and try to feel better.

Also, my dad is 52, had a very stressful life, is type 1 diabetic, and still doesn't have thinning or grey hair. It's actually a very nice brown color, the texture is nice, and it's very thick. Hopefully I inherited his genes as far as hair goes. Weird that I included this, I know; I feel weird typing it.

Blah.

Ashley Belger sucks.

Trying to get into a routine starting next Monday.

Sunday - Off

Monday - Chest
Flat bench: 5 sets of 5 very heavy.
Incline bench: 5 sets of 5 very heavy.
Weighted dips: 4 sets of 8-12 moderately heavy.
Flyes: 2-4 sets of 10 moderately heavy.

Tuesday - Back
Deadlift(every other week): 4-5 sets of 5 very heavy.
Pull-ups: 5 sets of 5-12 very heavy to moderately heavy.
Dumbell rows: 4 sets of 6-10 very heavy.
Lat Pulldowns: 4 sets of 10 very heavy to moderately heavy.
Cable rows: 4 sets of 10 moderately heavy.

Wednesday - Shoulders
Military Press: sitting-5 sets of 5 very heavy OR standing-5 sets of 8-10 moderately heavy.
Rear deltoid raises: 4 sets of 8-12 Very heavy to moderately heavy.
Front Deltoid raises: 4 sets of 8-12 very heavy to moderately heavy.
Upright row: 4 sets of 10-12 moderately heavy.
Shrugs 4 sets of 10-20 Very heavy to moderately heavy.

Thursday - Legs
Squats: 5 sets of 5-8 moderately heavy until I can do very heavy.
Leg Press: 4 sets of 10-12 moderately heavy.
Leg extension: 3 sets of 10-15 moderately heavy.
Leg curl: 2-3 sets of 10 moderately heavy.
Calf raises: 4 sets of 10-15 heavy.
Lunges: 1 set till failure moderately heavy.

Friday - Off

Saturday - Arms
Triceps
Weighted Dips: 5 sets of 5-12, very heavy.
Tricep extension OR Skullcrushers: 4 sets of 8-12 very heavy to moderately heavy.
Kickbacks: 2-3 sets of 10-12 moderately heavy to light.
Cable pushdowns(sometimes): 3 sets of 10-12 heavy.
Biceps
Straight bar curls: 4-5 sets of 8-10 very heavy.
Hammer curls: 4 sets of 8-12 very heavy.
Reverse curls: 2 sets of 10-15 moderate to light.

Edit: Switching legs day and shoulders day. Wed = Legs. Thurs = Shoulders.

I want to go fucking swimming, god damnit.

I had another crazy dream last night. It was basically Red Dawn and I was hiding out.

WOW, I had some fucked up dreams last night. One is like, worthy of a H.P. Lovecraft story, too.

I had a dream I was hanging out down town, but downtown was a lot nicer and older looking. I saw Dave Chapelle sitting in a car and I started talking to him; I also had him old on to something for me, but I don't remember what it was. Then I went to highschool again and made fun of a lot of people. Then I was in Detroit again and went to go get my thing from Dave Chapelle but he didn't have it. There were a lot of people I really know in that dream. Also, Lauren hated me in that dream lulz.

Then I had another dream that I went up to Ossineke to stay with DD and Oma (grandparents from my dad's side) and for some reason I had suspicions that DD was up to something sinister. That is really ironic because DD is the nicest, most honest man I've ever met in my whole life. I found a small room with pictures of what looked like charred human remains; mostly bones and organs. Then I had a flashback of finding human bones in the lake when I was young (didn't actually happen for the record); DD kept being secretive about things. Then I found a laboratory filled with chemicals, surgery equipment, strings, and jars full of human parts. Then I found pictures of the 'experiments' going on. Basically he was abducting people and dissecting them and doing experiments on them, but I never found out why because I snapped in to a different dream.

The last dream I remember from last night was the one where I stayed at my other grandma's house. I was sleeping in the old room that I used to watch tv in when I was little, but it was different looking. It was quite a bit bigger and there was another door in it leading somewhere else. I went through that door, then through another one that I had to literally break to get in to and I don't even remember what I found, but I remember it being disturbing. After that, I was haunted by poltergeists. I don't think my grandpa would haunt me though.

I wish I remembered the vague areas of my dreams, damn it.

Waking up from a good dream sucks.